‘They were all so thankful’: This mum hosted Christmas for single parents so they wouldn’t be alone

There are around 1.8 million single parents in the UK, making up nearly a quarter of families with children. Sophie Gallagher meets those who spent Christmas together

It’s midday on Christmas Day, at a community centre in Camden, north London, and Ema Howling, 48, is setting up a long buffet table, laying out tin-foil parcels of turkey, sausage rolls, pickles, gingerbread houses and tins of Quality Street. A tree has been set up in one corner, covered in bows and bells and flanked by piles of presents in red and silver wrapping paper.

The room is being transformed into a festive retreat for 11 adults and ten children who will be spending the afternoon together. United by one thing: coming from single-parent households. Ms Howling, who has a five-year-old son, Haze, had never done this before but felt determined to unite single parents in her neighbourhood after learning how many were worried about loneliness over the holiday.

“When you don’t have a partner, you can be lonely whether you have your children with you at Christmas or not,” says Ms Howling. “You don’t get to speak to another adult all day, and maybe even longer.”

(Ema Howling (Ema Howling)

There are around 1.8 million single parents in Britain, making up nearly a quarter of families with dependent children. Around 90 per cent of single parents are women and the average age of a single parent is 39, according to Gingerbread, a charity for single-parent families.

Victoria Benson, CEO of Gingerbread and single mum to six children, says the two main issues facing single parents at this time of year, which events like Ms Howling’s help to tackle, are loneliness and financial pressures.

“There is a forced period of fun, with pressure to have an amazing time, the media portrays images of 2.4 children families with mum and dad, but the reality for single parents is somewhat different,” she says.

“Single parents are more likely to be in debt and have money issues or be under pressure to spend money and create memories for their kids.”

Single dad, Trevor, 49, from mid-Sussex, who did not want his surname used, has a five-year-old son. He says that he particularly struggled with the financial pressures of the season in 2018. “That was the hardest Christmas for me.

“I couldn’t afford to buy him everything and decorate and have the right food. He had to go and stay with his gran. But it was so hard waking up and not having him there. A friend invited me round for lunch but I couldn’t face it, so I ate a gammon rasher from a tin, it was all I had in the house. I shut the door on the world and let the day go.”

Ms Benson also says the first Christmas she spent without her children she “sat in the flat and cried” as she didn’t know what else to do with herself. Now, on the years when her partner has the children she says group events, like Ms Howling’s, save her from being alone.

“One year I was home alone and someone invited me for Christmas drinks, which was lovely. It totally changed the day.

"People should be more aware of those who need help at the school gate and realise not everyone will be having the same experience as them.”

Four of the mums at Ms Howling’s event didn’t have their children this year. As well as eating together, the group sat in a circle and opened presents, listened to Christmas music, did some arts and crafts, and then visited a children’s playground. “Christmas jumpers were also encouraged,” she laughs.

“The parents were so thankful I’d arranged something for them. Especially the ones who are maybe living in a hostel and would otherwise spend the day in one room.

"It means you have something to do, a focus for your day. A reason to get up on Christmas.”